Enduring Pain
My wife Darci grew up in a farming community called Sharon Springs, Kansas. There was only one small diner and one small grocery store, which means it was a table community. In Sharon Springs, life happens around the table. The pinnacle of life in Sharon is Christmas, and Darci’s mom, Cathy, was the queen of Christmas. Decorations were everywhere, and the food was incredible. Cathy could cook, and it seemed we all gained fifty-five pounds every Christmas.
However, in 2008, the tradition was interrupted. While we were there, the house caught fire and burned down, right along with the new drill Darci’s dad gave me for Christmas. It was a horrible experience, but the next Christmas was even worse. We had just found out that Darci’s mom was really sick and couldn’t pull off the normal Christmas celebration. A month later, we found out she had stage four ovarian cancer. A few months later, she died on Mother’s Day. So Christmas 2010, in a rental house, without Cathy, wasn’t a fun Christmas.
Darci’s dad Kyle is the strongest man I’ve ever known. He carried the family, and amazingly, it actually drove him closer to God. This all happened the same year Darci and I got married, and even though it made our first few years of marriage really hard, it made our marriage stronger.
It’s times like these that we start asking why a loving God would allow bad things to happen. When you ask that question, you’re not thinking about not finding a good parking spot. You’re thinking about something big—someone who died, or someone who left you. But God is not far from us when we ask these questions. In fact, God can relate to our pain. When we blame God, we point the finger in the wrong direction. We cause our pain. Adam and Eve caused our pain. Sinful people cause our pain, and sinful people cause God pain. God’s chosen people killed his son, and on the cross, Jesus experienced incredible pain.
At about three o’clock, Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” which means “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?”
The weight of all the world’s sin was placed on Jesus’ shoulders, and because he was now covered in the filth of sin, his Heavenly Father couldn’t look at him. The Greek word for “called out” here is “aneboēsen,” which means “to shout or scream.” In this moment, Jesus is nailed to a cross, screaming in pain.
Jesus spent his life in intimate fellowship with his Father. Now, in his moment of greatest pain, his Father has abandoned him. The Greek word for abandoned here is “enkatelipes,” which means “to leave behind.” In addition, almost everyone else in Jesus’ life abandoned him too. Judas betrayed him. Peter denied him. His disciples couldn’t stay awake to pray with him. The crowd turned on him, tortured him, and killed him.
Have you ever been rejected by someone you liked, by a friend, by a boss, or by a parent? Rejection is one of life’s greatest pains. Jesus didn’t scream because of the torture. He screamed because the pain of rejection was excruciating, but Jesus had to be abandoned so that we wouldn’t have to be. There is now no rejection in the Christian faith. When you feel like God has abandoned you, know that if you are a child of God, he’s right with you in your pain.
After Jesus’ resurrection, he gave his followers the Great Commission to go into the world and make disciples, but because the idea of continuing with the mission without Jesus was very scary to them, Jesus promised to be with them in spirit.
I am with you always, even to the end of the age.
You may feel alone, but God is with you. You may be in pain, but God is with you. You may feel abandoned, but God is with you.
If you’re wondering why bad things happen, ask God. Take your hard questions to God. Sometimes when my kids ask me a hard question, I say, “I don’t know, ask mom.” Then she tells them to ask me. God doesn’t do that. Go to God with bold questions. “God, why did this happen? Why did she die? Why didn’t I get the job? Why the divorce, the cancer, the wars, slavery?” I believe that if we honestly bring our questions to God, he will give us peace.
What does the world think when they see someone enjoying pain? They think that person is crazy, but the apostle Paul says God gives us the power to do just that.
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
Why do we rejoice? We know life is more than the chapter we’re in. He’ll give us hope and help us persevere. We can persevere because we know this season is a part of our story, not the entire story.
The struggle is going to make you better, and it’s going to be a testimony God uses for good. Jesus died, but that was only part of his story. On the third day, he rose! The death is a testimony!
Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
What you’re experiencing is a chapter in your autobiography. It’s not the whole book. Someday we will be able to look back on our whole life and see how God worked it all together for good. God knows you so well that he knows your future. He can look forward and allow us to experience pain because he knows what it will produce.
Pain can be a great teacher. Ask God what lesson he plans to use your pain to teach you. If you want out of a season of pain, learn the lesson fast. If pain is meant to teach you, be a quick learner. Don’t keep making the same mistake. Learn the lesson. Jesus did.
Even though Jesus was God’s Son, he learned obedience from the things he suffered.
I don’t think Jesus was born with all the knowledge he needed for his ministry. He spent years learning and maturing. Pain taught even Jesus.
The apostle Paul said he had a thorn in his flesh. Scripture never tells us what the thorn was. Some say it was a sin he wrestled with. Some say it was an illness or relationship issue. I believe it was that he wasn’t picked to be the twelfth apostle that replaced Judas.
Even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.
Paul claimed that Jesus spoke to him the same way he spoke to the twelve apostles. It felt like rejection from God, but it was actually God doing something in Paul.
So how do we persevere in our pain? We keep our eyes on Jesus.
We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.
Jesus could persevere on the cross because he knew the mission. He knew his pain had a purpose. Your greatest pain can lead to your greatest ministry. If you want to know your calling, reflect on your pain. Our pain can reveal our calling. God doesn’t usually cause our pain, but he uses it to lead us to our calling. We have new life because God used Jesus’ pain, and God can use your pain too.
Let’s return to the story of Jesus’ crucifixion. Jesus has just screamed about God the Father rejecting him. Then he more fully gave himself to God.
Then Jesus shouted, “Father, I entrust my spirit into your hands!” And with those words, he breathed his last.
Don’t let your pain lead you away from God; let it lead you to God.
For all of God’s promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding “Yes!” And through Christ, our “Amen” (which means “Yes”) ascends to God for his glory.
Our cooperation with God’s plan for our lives brings glory to God. Our “yes” ascends to God for his glory! Jesus was asked to go to the cross, and because he had greater knowledge of what was coming, he said yes.
So, what about you? Do you trust God in your pain?
