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Eros | Four Loves | Week 3
Mike Wilson
Eros Love
In week three of the Four Loves teaching series at New Life Church, Pastor Mike Wilson tackled one of the most misunderstood, misrepresented, and misused expressions of love: Eros. Preached on Mother’s Day, this sermon came with a PG-13 disclaimer—not to be provocative, but to highlight the sacred, life-shaping nature of romantic love and its deeper spiritual significance.
What Is Eros?
Eros is the Greek word for romantic or uniting love. In today’s world, the term often conjures images of lust or eroticism, but Pastor Mike urged the church to reclaim and redeem the true biblical meaning of Eros. He explained that while Eros does imply physical intimacy, it was never meant to be about mere gratification. Instead, Eros is about union—two becoming one, not just in body, but in soul.
Mike made the case that Christian sex is deeply spiritual. It ties bodies together for a moment but souls together for a lifetime. That’s why, in Scripture, the church is often called the bride of Christ (Ephesians 5:25-27). God created Eros to reflect the unity He desires with His people—a selfless, covenantal love marked by vulnerability and honesty.
“Eros brings bodies together, but it ties souls together for life. God has Eros for us—not the twisted version the world presents, but a holy, generous, and uniting love.”
Not Everyone Who Says “Lord, Lord…”
To unpack this deeper unity, Pastor Mike turned to Jesus’ challenging words in Matthew 7:21–23:
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven… I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’”
Mike explained that the Greek word “know” here speaks to a deep, intimate knowledge—not surface-level awareness, but relational connection. Just as Genesis 4:1 says, “Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived,” the term “know” indicates profound union. In the same way, Jesus wants to know His followers intimately. He wants to unite with them in Eros—not sexually, of course, but spiritually, as a bridegroom with His bride.
Being a Christian isn’t about reciting words or checking boxes. It’s about living in relationship with God, giving Him your heart and life. As Mike said, “You don’t get to just say magic words and get a ‘get-out-of-hell-free’ card.” Following Jesus means unity with Him—ongoing, growing, authentic relationship.
Eros vs. Porna
To understand Eros more clearly, Mike contrasted it with another Greek word used in the New Testament: Porna, the root of our English word pornography. Found in passages like 1 Thessalonians 4:3 (“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality”), porna is translated as “sexual immorality” and represents love that devours rather than gives.
Porna is twisted Eros. It’s selfish, consumeristic, and damaging. It’s about using others for personal pleasure, leaving hearts and souls broken in its wake. In contrast, Eros, when aligned with God’s design, is about giving—about covenant, about unity, about sacrificial love.
Mike used a vivid analogy: fast food vs. steak dinner. “Eros,” he said, “is like a home-cooked steak dinner—nourishing, fulfilling, built on relationship. Porna is like a double bacon monster burger—greasy, momentarily satisfying, but ultimately unhealthy and even addictive.”
The Invitation to Union
Jesus’ first invitation to His disciples wasn’t a list of rules—it was relational. In John 1:38–39, Jesus asks, “What do you want?” and then says, “Come and see.” The Christian life begins with that same invitation: come and be united to me.
Jesus doesn’t drag people into relationship through fear or shame. He invites them to Eros—a deep, intimate bond of love and trust. It’s not about perfection but participation. And as Pastor Mike emphasized, “Healthy relationships start selfish, but they become selfless.”
How We Mistreat Eros
Many people enter relationships, including marriage or even church, with selfish motives—what can I get out of this? But Eros love matures. It shifts from self-centeredness to sacrificial giving.
Mike encouraged married couples to be vulnerable—emotionally and physically—like Adam and Eve in Genesis 2:25, who were “naked and unashamed.” He also challenged the church community to be known, to drop the masks, and to share their stories honestly.
“God’s picture of heaven is a picture of Eros fully realized. In heaven, we will be completely united. There will be no marriage—not because we’ll lose intimacy, but because we’ll all be in perfect unity with each other and with God.”
Practical Steps for Embracing Godly Eros
Before wrapping up, Pastor Mike offered practical ways for people to embody Eros love in their marriages, friendships, and church community:
Pray for greater passion – Ask God to reignite your passion for your spouse and for your church community. Relationship with God and others should be lifegiving and joy-filled.
Be known – Practice vulnerability. Share your full story. Let yourself be fully seen—especially in your life group or church circle.
Affirm each other – Pour into others with words and actions. Stop demanding affirmation for yourself and start building others up.
Communion: A Picture of Eros
The sermon concluded with a powerful moment of communion. As congregants dipped the bread into the juice, they were reminded that Eros is ultimately about giving—about laying down one’s life, just as Jesus did. Communion is the symbol of union—God giving Himself completely to His people.
“We consume His body and His blood because He gave it all. That’s Eros. That’s love that binds us to Him forever.”
Final Thoughts
In a world that often confuses lust with love, Pastor CJ Ward brought clarity, hope, and healing to the conversation. He called the church to reject porna and embrace the richness of Eros—the uniting, generous love that God designed to point us back to Him.
The message of Eros is more than just about romantic passion. It’s about being fully known and fully loved by the God who designed us for connection. It’s about giving, sacrificing, and becoming one with Christ and with His people.
May the Church become a place where Eros is celebrated rightly—a place of vulnerability, unity, and joyful giving.
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